In this podcast episode, we do a year-end review of 2020 and take stock on life from an intuitive, spiritual perspective. (Note: I’m not sponsored by any of the resources that I spoke about in today’s episode.)
Links to resources/articles referenced in the episode:
- Taking Stock of Your Current and Ideal Life – Dummies.com
- Life Resource #1: How to Take Stock of Your Life – Fiona Buckland Coaching
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TRANSCRIPT:
Hello! Welcome to the Sally in the Zen podcast. I’m your host Sally. I’m a Zen Buddhist caregiver taking care of my elderly folk, and always in pursuits to find Zen moments in everyday living. If you’re new to the podcast, welcome. If you’re not new, and you’re returning, welcome back.
Hope all of you, no matter where you are, are staying safe, staying sane, enjoying your family holidays. As you could already figure out from the title of episode, it’s about doing a quick year and review to see how far we’ve come, especially through 2020’s mess, and what’s waiting for us around the corner in 2021. So we’re going to take a second or two to take stock of what we have, how we’re doing and what we have to look forward to for next year. Because I had said, I think, you know, in the previous episode or two, that nowadays I want to be more mindful of the time I have. I want to be more purposeful with that time because, if nothing else, this year pressed upon me that time is so precious. Family and life and health are tremendously precious but there is something bigger and better out there after such a challenge.
So if you’re interested let’s get started. And here’s my one disclaimer for today’s episode. It does contain some strong language and it’s heavily bent on the spiritual side of looking and taking stock of my life just to brace you now.
Now as a jumping off point, I used trusty Google to look for questions, aside from the superficial of – what do we have, how do we feel. So I came across a couple of resources, which, of course I’ll hook up in the show notes for your reference.
And the first one is from Dummies.com – taking stock of your current and ideal life. I actually don’t know who wrote it and I didn’t see a name but it’s part of the Life Coaching for Dummies Cheat Sheet and I’m going to read the first paragraph and then talk about a diagram that they have down here that got me thinking. And I like things that make me think. I like things that make me noodle a little bit and just go hmmm.
So first paragraph – life coaching is all about creating the life you really want. Your life is a balance of doing (from everyday chores to running marathons), having (material possessions as well as intangible things like love and security), and being (the core of you).
Take stock of your current and ideal life by asking yourself the following questions:
- In my vision of success for myself, what would I be doing?
- What would I have and Who will I be?
- How balanced is my life?
- How much am I enjoying my life?
- How much am I making my own meaning in life?
See, all of these are pretty deep questions. How much am I making my own meaning in life? And that seems like a real heavy question that needs to be unpacked.
To me, it’s talking about what am I doing in my life that’s meaningful, that gives me pure satisfaction, that satisfies everything that I need in my life. And we could chew it up in pieces and just say right off the bat, what’s giving me satisfaction is obviously being a caregiver to Mom and Dad. Helping them in the winter of their lives up until they leave me. That’s satisfaction.
But then when you talk about meaning in my life in terms of work, occupation, I can pull back and say that I have yet to find meaningful work. I’m still unemployed. I got laid off on 11/11. I had spoken about this – if you’re new to the podcast – I have spoken about this a couple episodes ago, yeah.
So, yes, I’m still unemployed but that’s alright. Because it’s Christmas, it’s season, it’s New Year’s, and things are at a lull, and this is a resting period as far as I’m concerned. So I can just regroup when the new year comes. But if I’m really honest about it, the work I was doing was just paying the bills. Did it add meaning to my life? No. Was it just something I needed to get up and do every single day just to pay my bills? Absolutely.
So the question got me thinking about what occupation or what work can I do that would give me the same level of satisfaction as taking care of my own family? And I have no answer to that question, except to say that quite frankly I’m woke at this point.
Let me explain what I mean by that.
Okay, this part may get a little woo-woo with you but I’m being transparent. I’m being real and acknowledging that I am intuitive. I don’t normally speak about that because being intuitive is fine, but at the same time you need to have a job to pay for your bills and take care of your family. But I never put the two-to-two together, where being intuitive, which means following your instinct, following the breadcrumbs at the Universe lays out there. And I’ve spoken about my take up on the Universe before, on and off, in other episodes, where I absolutely do believe in God. I absolutely do believe Higher Power, Spirit and being no holds barred anymore about that. Because in my previous episodes, I keep the intuitive part aspects of what I do out of the stories. So I decided to keep it authentic, to be my true authentic self.
Not to say that I see ghosts. Sometimes I do, I do. Did they scare the beJesus out of me? Oh yeah, yeah, you bet. It’s just like anything else. You just got to get used to it. Practice, practice and more practice to get used to that kind of stuff. Those are things that no one should be frightened of because there’s a reason why it’s happening. And being intuitive is not being afraid but trying to see what the bigger picture is behind the meaning. What is the meaning? Why am I seeing this? Why am I feeling this?
So if you take this all back to the original question – how much am I making my own meaning in life? I can say at this point, at this time, after all these years? Not much. I’ve been coasting through life and taking care of people I love and just doing the things that I’m required to do, I need to do, to live and survive here on Earth. But I’ve never really thought about dreams, aspirations, deeper things that a Zen Buddhist – me – never really thought about the things that could make me happy.
I think it was Warren Buffett who said if you love the work that you do, you never work a day in your life. And I’m looking for that. And I think, in 2021, I’m going to find it. Because that’s the next chapter of my life, to figure out what it is to create my own meaning in my life. What gives me that satisfaction. Because, ultimately, when Mom and Dad leave me and I’m all by myself – where’s the meaning then? I think I’ll be a little too late to start trying to figure out what the meaning of my life is, when I can go ahead and do that now. I have that awareness now. My eyes are open now.
And I have to give credit to where it’s due. And it was all because of Year 2020. It’s all because of this shit that we had to go through this year. And these kind of changes, if you don’t roll with it, you fall behind. And I believe in all this rolling forward, looking forward and growing. You want to have meaning in your life. You want to have satisfaction. You want to have that feeling of – I was here.
These are questions that are lifelong pursuits, and kudos to you if you have the answers to these questions already.
So the second resource, which I found on Google, called Fiona Buckland Coaching. And right off the bat, on this page was a question that she posed that I actually noodled on also. Resources for Life number one question: if this year is a crucial time in your soul’s journey, what is it about?
So I’m going to start in the middle of the first paragraph. This is key to start taking leadership of your own life so rather than be buffeted by events and fortune, you can start to put your hands on the tiller and steer your life where you want it to go, using your values and purpose as your personal GPS. And she lists a whole bunch of questions below in her article, and the one that really resonated with me was number three. How and when have I opened my heart?
So if we put this question in the context of this year 2020 – how and when have I opened my heart? I can answer that question very easily, actually. So in March, when COVID stay-at-home happened in the State of PA, when we were locked down for the first time ever. For the first two weeks, I was spinning my wheels because Mom and Dad and I were scared. What was going on? What the hell was going on? Until exactly two weeks into it, I changed course in my head. I reframed the situation and perspective internally by meditating twice a day.
So I turned my focus from the outside, inside. Because I normally meditate once a day but since the Stay-at-Home happens and I was going stir crazy and it was one perpetual Groundhog’s Day for that whole entire two weeks. Forget the whole entire year – I’m talking about in the beginning. The two weeks were just one lousy Groundhog’s Day, where I didn’t eat properly, where my normal sleep patterns were interrupted, where I didn’t exercise like I normally do.
You know how when you have a routine on a normal day? You will get up. You will eat breakfast. You will work out. You will get into the car. Go to work. Work. Eat lunch. Come back home. Cook dinner. Take care of folks. That kind of thing – your routine? When that was just blown to shit and I didn’t know what to do. And the thing was that, because I didn’t know what to do, Mom and Dad were also in a confused state too. So I had more stress on me to get my shit straight because I had people depending on me.
So I did what I just innately knew what to do, which was to meditate in the morning time which I never did prior to to stay-at-home. Never did. I usually meditate at the end of the day before I go to bed. But something just compelled me to start meditating every morning when I get up.
So I’d say since then to now, which is December, that’s my practice. Twice a day. And I mean intensely. So it can be an hour to an hour and a half but I’m going to caveat that. I’ve been meditating since my twenties. Takes practice. It’s like yoga. The more you do it, the more at ease you are with it. The more you stick with it, the more you put into it is the more that you get out from it.
Keeping it real, the meditations became more productive, more spiritual just this year. So last year was my meltdown and you can go back to previous episodes to catch up on that. But 2019 was a critical life turning year where that was just three years after Pop’s stroke. I had a meltdown at work and I went to see a therapist who helped me through and that was a changing point in my life to see things differently, and to actually embrace the following your heart. Following and listening to your intuition. Basically, surrendering yourself to Universe.
And from 2019 going to 2020, even more so. In the chaos was the order that I found within me. And going back to the question – how and when did I open my heart? this is exactly the answer to this question. Because of 2020. Because of the stay-at-home. Because the change in the Universe, change in the world. I was able to open my heart in the middle of all this darkness.
So, but when you think at a higher level what change is – what it simply means. It means it’s shaking you out of your business as usual routine for a reason. It shakes you up out of the mundane because you have a higher purpose. Something so extraordinary is out there. That’s how the Universe works in order for you to grow. And I’m growing.
So 2019 was pretty devastating. 2020 is pretty shitty. And then the icing on top of all that shit was me getting laid off on November 11th. 1111. Angel numbers. Special, special angel numbers to becoming something and doing something more meaningful.
I really do believe that when you do something so meaningful for you, the outcome pays for itself. The abundance flows in because that’s how it works. We just have to be patient with it because it’s also about Universal timing.
So when specifically did I open my heart? This month – when I decided in my head to embrace, truly embrace the Universe. Not shy away from it. Because there are reasons why I’m tuned into these things, why I’m able to tune into these things. And keep in mind too, everyone has this gift but are they awake? But I am and I’m consciously choosing to step in those shoes.
So that takes us to the end of today’s podcast, which is also the last episode for the year 2020. Season 2 will begin with episode 37 on January 6th. I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. If you have any questions or comments, send your email to sally@sallyinthezen.com. And depending on what it is, I may feature it on future episodes.
I hope you and yours stay safe and enjoy the holidays. Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas. Seasons Greetings. Happy Hanukkah. And have a great great Happy New Year. I’ll see you next year.
