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TRANSCRIPT:

Hello!  Welcome to the Sally in the Zen podcast. I’m your host, Sally. I’m a Zen Buddhist caregiver taking care of my elderly folks and always in pursuits to find Zen moments in everyday living. If you’re new to the podcast, welcome, thank you for joining. If you’re not new, and you’re returning, welcome back!

Now today’s episode is actually a spinoff from our last episode, episode 19, where we talked about how to break out of the perpetual Groundhog’s day cycle. Now, at a high level, in that episode, we had talked about planning out a path forward from when our stay-at-home order is finally lifted and we come out the other side of this better than when we first entered the stay-at-home order. And while I was planning that episode out, it seems like a natural progression to move into the present moment, and what I mean by that is, although we plotted out a goal and a path forward when life resumes, basically, before that happens, it seemed to me that besides one huge Groundhog’s Day repeat on a daily basis, within the day, among the hours, it seems like a natural push, a natural flow to be in the present moment. And I hope I was able to articulate that thought clearly. If you’re lost, just bear with me but if you’re interested, that’s today’s topic, and let’s go.

Now before I begin, let me put down my normal disclaimer: what I say on today’s episode are my opinions and my opinions alone. Nobody’s paying me to say what I’m going to say. Just so we’re clear. And now with that out of the way, let’s catch up on the latest milestones that happened in the State of PA during the stay-at-home order.

So during the week of May 4th and — May the 4th be with you, by the way — during that week specifically, I believe on Thursday, Governor Wolf announced that 24 counties be eased out of the stay-at-home order and that’s in the northern part of our state. We unfortunately are in the southern part of the state so we’re still on the lock-down. And in fact, our stay-at-home order has just been extended to end June 4th. And that’s, of course, a tentative date because he’s been extending and extending as he see fits. So that’s where we are in terms of our latest milestone.

Now catching up on Mom and Dad. We had their checkups, the doctor follow-up check-ups, virtually done. And it was actually pretty interesting to see the doctor FaceTime on your phone and I’m holding the phone while Dad is trying to speak and visually see the doctor on my smartphone. And it was kind of funny but overall, it was painless because the doctor’s office called, gave us a link. We linked onto it and voila we’re able to do a virtual call. You gotta love technology, people. 

And also since we just passed Mother’s Day weekend, let me try to remember what I did for Mom and Dad, even though it’s Mother’s Day, I did something for Pop too, because we’re a threesome and we do everything for each other anyways. I fixed Pop’s slow filling toilet. So I was a handy person. I actually like working with my hands and I like fixing things, puzzling over things and I, I had fixed my own slow rising water tank in my bathroom a couple weekends ago. And then Pop was, like, fix my toilet, so I did. So that took me 45 minutes. I’m pretty proud about that. And then I made an overnight breakfast casserole for us, for Mom, for Mother’s Day, from a recipe that I found from Chunky Chef and it was pretty tasty.

Now let’s get to the heart of today’s episode, which is how to be in the present moment. Now at a high level, I know what it is to be in the present moment, and that’s based on personal experience plus personal teachings from Zen Master who is also my father. But if I were to articulate it to anyone, I would just say, very simply, being in the moment. But since I wanted to provide a little bit more structure in today’s episode, to give you tangible takeaways on this elusive, high pie-in-the-sky kind of theory, I googled resources to see what they say.

But before you begin let me just make pretty clear, I am not an expert in being in the present moment. I’m never going to profess myself as being an expert of anything, much less this. We’re learning this together as I do research on Google and get opinions from people out there on what they think present moment is and how to achieve it. So we’re learning this together. And also, I tried to keep an open mind to new ways of thinking and doing because what I’m currently thinking and doing may actually not be the most efficient or effective way of thinking and doing, and I’m always open to new ideas.

Basically, the resources, the three resources that I’m going to be citing today is more of a do I agree? do I resonate with what they’re saying or I don’t? They’re not right or wrong. It’s just whether I resonate with their saying or not, so it’s kind of different in today’s show. And actually to see if they kind of jive with what I already know present moment to be. 

There’s tons of stories out there about being in the present moment. It relaxes you. It reduces your anxiety. But I’m all about the how do you do this? Personally speaking, I’m all about the what does it mean? How do you do it? How do you get there? How do you plan? I’m very tangible, I’m very execution-oriented. I need to know those kind of instructions, besides the behind-the-scenes idea on the theory. Besides understanding what it means, I actually want to be able to do something with it.

So, the first resource that came across is from PositivePsychology.com. It’s entitled How to Live in the Present Moment: 35 exercises and tools and quotes. And it’s written by Courtney E Ackerman on April 26th of 2020. 

Now I’m going to scroll down her article and give you a definition, their definition, of what it is, the meaning of the present moment. So they say being in the present moment or the here and now in parentheses means that we are aware and mindful of what is happening at this very moment. We are not distracted by ruminations on the past or worries about the future but centered in the here and now. All of our attention is focused on the present moment. So why is being present minded important? According to the article, in the next paragraph, so being present minded is the key to staying healthy and happy. It helps you fight anxiety, cut down on your worrying and rumination, and keeps you grounded and connected to yourself and everything around you. They further indicate why it can be difficult to live in the now is because we’re always encouraged to think about the future or dwell on the past. 

And that brings to mind the scene from Star Wars, when Luke is training with Yoda straps on his back and Yoda is like poking him saying, you need to focus on the here, the now. I’m totally paraphrasing but he’s basically telling him you need to be present in the moment of your training.  Your mind is always in the future, Luke. Your mind is not here, Luke. That’s my impression of Yoda. Anyways, that’s the scene that pops into my head when they talk about being in the here and now.

Now moving further down the article, there’s a section that’s called how to be present and live in the moment. To get to this healthy balance, try to keep these guidelines in mind. First bullet: think about the past and small doses and make sure you are focusing on the past for a reason. Such as to relive a pleasant experience, identify where you went wrong or figure, or figure out the key to a past success. Bullet number two: think about the future in small doses and make sure you are focusing on the future in a healthy low anxiety way, such as don’t spend time worrying about the future; think about the future just long enough to prepare for it and then move on. The last bullet: stay in the present moment for the vast majority of your time.

Now I’m going to stop right here. All of that is very easy to say and of course, naturally, crazy hard to do. And when I read it, I know it’s crazy hard to do. Because if somebody actually came up to me and said hey stop worrying, I would be like get back *sound of a slap*.  But I think of myself in the college days when that song that came out, don’t worry, be happy, I forget who wrote that song, sang that song, but that was me. So I should probably slapping myself back *sound of two slaps*. But seriously though, it would be nice to know how you can advise someone to stop worrying about the future, especially if you’re impacted in our Coronavirus environment.

So how they encourage to live in the moment and plan for the future is encouraging mindfulness or present moment meditation. When we engage in mindfulness or present moment meditation, we are not ignoring or denying thoughts of the past or future. We are simply choosing not to dwell on them. It’s okay to acknowledge and label our past and future-focused thoughts, categorized them, and be aware of the importance but the important point is to not allow yourself to get swept up thinking about the past or the future.

So further down the article, there’s a paragraph, using present moment awareness to stop worrying. Speaking of worry, present moment awareness is a great way to cut down on how much you worry. Follow these six steps to become more attuned to the present and rid yourself of excess anxiety. One: cultivate unselfconsciousness. Let go and stop thinking about your performance. Number two: practice savoring. Avoid worrying about the future by fully experiencing the present. Three: focus on your breath, allowing mindfulness to make you more peaceful and smooth your interactions with others. Four: find your flow. Make the most of your time by losing track of it. Five: improve your ability to accept. Move toward what is bothering you rather than denying or running away from it. Six: enhance your engagement. Work on reducing moments of mindlessness and noticing new things to improve your mindfulness. 

Now I think I’m going to stop right there. I’m not necessarily recommending this article. I think this article is a good starting off point to better acclimate on what is the present moment, and see what they suggest, but personally speaking as I read down the article, continue reading the article, a lot of it didn’t resonate with me. And the thing that is really critical for me is that when I come across anything, if it resonates with me, then it does. If it doesn’t, I move on from there. 

Now the reason why I’m using this article, citing this article is, it does give a little background color so, bits and pieces, it’s relevant. 

So the next one I found is Becoming Minimalist.com: 10 tips to start living in the present moment. And this is written by Joshua Becker. So he says the secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past or worry about the future or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. That’s fine. Let’s go down to the article about how you do that. So he suggests – Number one: remove unneeded possessions. Minimalism forces you to live in the present. Removing items associated with past memories frees you and allows you to stop living in the past. Once the past no longer has power, you can begin to live in the moment. 

Got to think about that. I’ve got a lot of knickknacks of the past trips that I’ve been on.  So, hm. Number two: smile. Everyday start with a smile. Every day is full of endless possibilities. Be optimistic. You’re in control of your attitude. Okay, I’m moving on to three. 

Number three: fully appreciate the moments of today. Soak in as much of today you can possibly can, the sights, the sounds, the smells, the emotions, the triumphs, the sorrows. 

Yeah, personally speaking, we’re under a stay-at-home order and I’m soaking up as much as I could possibly take. 

So move on from there – number four: forgive past hurts. If you’re harboring resentment towards another human being because of past hurts, choose to forgive and move on. My personal opinion about this one is I may choose to not forgive, to always remember, but also to move on. There’s a way to disassociate your emotions to these events. Not saying it’s easy to thing to do and I’m not pushing meditation, but meditation is the way that I found that pulls you away from those associations. 

Now the reason why anyone would want to forgive or forget is obviously intensely personal but, for me, at a high spiritual level, everything happens to us for a reason. If everything was all sweet and roses, we wouldn’t evolve as human beings. That’s why challenges, no matter how painful and bloody hard they are, there’s a reason for these lessons. And at the time that we’re going through something like that we’re too in the weeds of the problem at that moment, but over time, when you allow the time to think about the reasons, the lessons that we’re supposed to take away from that, there is always a lesson to be learned but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to forgive. You just need to be able to disassociate those powerful emotions that you were going through during that time with that experience, so that the endpoint is that you’re able to look at that experience very clearly with no emotional baggage. Only then can you see the insight that the Universe or God put before you. This is ultimately how you learn and ultimately how a person grows. That’s my personal opinion. That’s just me being honest even though I am, yes, Zen Buddhist. Not all Zen Buddhist forgives or forgets and that’s just another fallacy. And I’m just keeping it real. 

Okay.

So next one – number five: love your job. Well, I think I’m just going to move on from there. 

Number six: dream big. Set goals and plans for the future but working hard today is always the first step towards realizing your dreams tomorrow. Totally get that. Totally agree. 

Moving on to the next one number seven: Don’t dwell on past accomplishments if you’re still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today. There is plenty of time to build on past successes and create more memories and achievements for future you. In the future you’ll be cherishing the memories of today.

Next one, number eight: stop worrying. He says you can’t fully appreciate today if you worry too much about tomorrow. Realize that tomorrow is going to happen whether you worry about it or not. And since worry has never accomplished anything for anybody, redirect your mental energy elsewhere. *sound of a slap* How do you stop worrying? You know, put more meat on this one is what I’m saying.

Number nine: think about old solutions to problems. Our world is changing so fast that most of yesterday’s solutions are no longer the right answers today. Don’t get locked into that but that’s how we’ve always done it mentality. Yesterday’s solutions are not today’s solution and they are certainly not tomorrow’s solution.

Number 10: conquer addictions. Addictions in your life hold you hostage. They keep you from living a completely free life and remove your focus from the moment. Find some help, take the steps and remove their influence over your life. Allow yourself to live in the moment addiction free. I agree.

So the next resource is a piece that actually resonated with me and this one is from a Conscious Rethink.com and it’s entitled how to live in the present moment. So they actually go into my question of just how do we go into entering and staying in the present moment which is basically my question for this episode. What it means to live in the present moment. This is their paragraph: contrary to popular belief, living in the moment doesn’t mean emptying your mind of all thoughts. I agree. It means focusing on whatever you are doing so as to not be aware of the passing of time. In other words when you are living in the moment, you do not notice the minute hand ticking by when you are consciously absorbed in action. That, to me, is being in the flow. That, to me, is throwing yourself in a deep end of a project or something that you love or something that you need to do and you’re 100% focused on it. Like, for example, when Zen Mum is watching a TV show, if she’s really in her zone, you can’t break her out of it even when you call her name and you have to physically be in her face before she acknowledges you. That’s how in the zone she is. To me, that’s being in the flow, and she does that pretty naturally.

Anywho, continuing on. And you don’t necessarily have to be sitting quietly and still to experience the now. Believing that meditation or other calm activities are the only portals into the present moment is a mistake that many people make. I agree! *sound of applause* I absolutely with this statement. Yes. The action you focus on could be your breathing or the observation of the natural world around you but it can be a multitude of other things.

Next paragraph: another myth about being in the moment is that you shouldn’t think about the past or the present. In fact, if the task you are focused on is learning from past experiences so as to plan for future ones, you can be very much present. The key is to be emotionally invested in neither past nor future. Instead you might consider the past to be information, knowledge, experience, and the future to be nothing more than a projection of possibilities.

So.  Moving down the article, here are their ways to be more present in the moment.

One: lose yourself in the flow. Totally agree, because I said that a few minutes earlier. If you’re in the flow you don’t notice passing of time, you’re committed, you’re focused, zeroed in on your project and that’s being in the present moment, basically.

Two: learn something new. One of the easiest way to enter a flow state is to learn something new. It doesn’t matter what it is so long as it requires your attention. I totally agree with that. And for example, I am learning how to speak Korean because on my bucket list, I plan to visit South Korea and I want to be able to speak their language good enough to order myself a nice meal and a decent cup of coffee. That’s a goal and there you go. 

And also the reason why I’m interested in Korean is because I’m crazy about Korean dramas, K-pop, love the romances. That’s a guilty pleasure that I’ve been indulging in ever since this stay-at-home order happened eight weeks ago. 

So anywho, moving down to number three: remove the clock. As we touched upon when trying to define living in the now, not being aware of the passing time is key if we clock-watch, we are not focused on what we are doing. We are instead anxious about how much time or how little time we have left in an allotted period. I totally get that too.

Number four: anchor yourself through your senses. When you are not living in the moment and your head is full of thoughts of the past and future, you’ll find that your senses are dulled. You simply cannot focus intently on two things at one time. I agree with this too. I happen to multitask and I am very good at multitasking but then when it comes to the actual project, like you know, recording an episode like I’m doing now, I’m 100% here.

And they give an example of…if we focus intently on our five senses, thoughts of the past or the future are unable to take hold in our minds. For example, sit in a park on a warm summer’s day and feel the heat of the sun on your skin. Eat an orange slowly and experience the intense flavor after juices flow over your taste buds. Or listen to the noises of the world, the birds, the cars, the hubbub of life, and when the stay-at-home order’s lifted, go into a bakery and smell the wonderful smells of baked goods. As soon as the stay-at-home order’s lifted, I am so taking us to eat Mexican.

Okay, so, number five: observe wayward thoughts. What should you do when you are trying to live in the moment and your head fills up with some thought or another? First, remember that not all thoughts are hindrances. If the thought is related to what you are doing, there’s no need to do anything. If however the thought is something else, something born out of the past or the future, the first thing to do is notice that you’re having that thought. This might sound a bit strange. How do you observe the conscious mind other than with the conscious mind? The answer: you don’t. Your conscious mind is self aware. It can catch yourself thinking about something and recognize that this thought occurred. Considered this, you can hear your inner voice, right? It has a distinct sound to it but to hear a sound, it has to have a source and a receiver.  And it goes down a little bit more: in the wider world, sounds come from other things and it’ll be received by your ear before being processed in the brain. So if you can hear your inner voice, there must be some distinction between the voice itself and the entity who hears it. This entity is your observing mind, a part of your conscious mind that is able to look upon other thoughts and understand that they are just thoughts. 

Take meditation, for example. It is not easy for a beginner to stick with and thoughts will readily enter the mind. Yet as soon as you realize that you have drifted off into thought, it’s amazing how quickly those thoughts stop. They may be turned again and again and each time you notice them, your mind loses interest in them. Which is true. When I meditate and I’m focused, sometime random thoughts will pop up but I don’t react to them. I let them flow in and out and just continue on with my meditation.

Number 6: don’t fight your feelings. Living in the moment does not mean being completely devoid of feelings. You can be sad or happy or any other feeling and still be present with yourself and others. In fact, happiness is really a feeling we associate with anything other than being in the moment.

Ok, moving on: loosening your grip on control. One thing that makes it more difficult to live in the present moment is to insist upon full control over your life. Yes, at times you will be able to control events to a certain extent and shape your present and future but there is also a whole host of things over which you have no control whatsoever.

And number eight: stop preparing for the next moment. A little preparation is generally a good thing in life but it can also be taken too far. Many people are so caught up in preparing mentally for the next moment, they forget to enjoy this moment that they’re in. Because what’s next is the question they always ask themselves. They don’t want to be caught out by future events but the things they worry about often so trivial as to not warrant thinking about.

And then the last part of their article: four don’ts and one do of living in a moment. To round off our guide we’ll now explore some of the things we ought not to do when it comes to being in the now, along with the one thing that is absolutely vital.

Don’t make it your end goal. This may sound a bit counter-intuitive but there’s no need to think or say I’m going to be in the moment today. You just are. You either are or you’re not.

Don’t intellectualize it. The more you actively try to think your way into the present moment, the more, it will lose you.

Next one, don’t set time limits on the present moment. You may think that living in a moment is something you need to do for a longer period of time but you don’t.

Next one, don’t think that living in the moment will solve your problems. You may find yourself more at peace when your mind is free from worry but this peace alone is not a universal solution to the challenges that you face. While it can be good for your emotional well-being to lose yourself in the present moment on a regular basis, you ought not to use it as a form of escapism to avoid tackling your problems. That is so true.

And the last one they suggest is do: do practice, practice, practice. While you needn’t set yourself a goal of living in the present moment, you should try to practice entering it as much as you can. Make it a habit. Try to make it a habit.

Now those are the resources that I happen to look on and, of course, I’ll make them available on the show notes for your reference but let me go ahead now and tell you how I get into the present moment.

So for example, just last weekend, I made cookies. Chocolate chip cookies – specifically the recipe is for the DoubleTree chocolate chip cookie. Doubletree Hotel had released their secret ingredients for their infamous cookies. I’m all about food and it turned out pretty yummy but the next time I make it I need to pull back on the Toll House chocolate chips because it was a little sweet, a little bit more sweeter than was comfortable for Pop, and Pop is diabetic. But overall it’s a pretty good cookie.

And another example is that I made turmeric coconut basmati rice. That was pretty yummy. Now that’s one of our favorite rice flavors.

And the other example of being in the present moment is me fixing our slow filling toilet. That was pretty handy of me. I like being handy all around the house. I actually have a tool belt. I actually knew how to fix the slow rising, slow filling water tank. I’m in charge of the whole entire house now. In terms of handy projects fixer uppers. When I’m doing those, I am definitely in the moment. I have my music on the background. I have my tools around me and I’m focused on getting the job done and doing it right. And there you go. That’s being in the moment for me.

Being in a present moment doesn’t have to be spiritual. It doesn’t have to be some high and lofty thing, that’s like at a body experience. It’s as simple as what I just talked about – changing or fixing the toilet, baking cookies, reading a book. You’re not multitasking. You’re actually focusing. Focusing your attention. When you’re focused 100% on something and the next time you look up at the clock and you see that time has passed and you’re not clock-watching, That’s being in the moment. And it doesn’t have anything to to do with meditation. And yeah I do believe that is a myth.  It has nothing to do with meditation.

Now there was one point that I wanted to chew a little bit more on and that was from Positive Psychology. And it was their paragraph on how to live in the moment but plan for the future. And they say it might seem complicated to figure out this delicate balance but it’s not as complex as it seems. While we engage in mindfulness or present moment meditation, we are not ignoring or denying thoughts of the past or future. We are simply choosing not to dwell on them. It’s okay to acknowledge and label our past and future focused thoughts, categorized them, and be aware of their importance but the most important thing is not to allow yourself to get swept up in thinking about the past or the present.

Okay, while it’s true that for the most part of the day I am present in the moment, what I had said earlier, putting pen to paper on a goal for how I want to look when we come out of our tunnel, when we come out of our stay-at-home order, I want to be healthier, mentally well in all the six dimensions I had mentioned the last episode. Fitting into that is planning for the future, and one of the sub goals that I had wrote down, and I actually put it into my bucket list, was also, besides going to South Korea, I actually want to go to Mongolia.

Don’t know why, don’t know when, don’t know how, but don’t need to know those things. Not right now. I just know that I’m compelled for whatever reason to want to visit Mongolia before I leave this place. And if possible, I think I’m going to be doing that before I even think about hitting South Korea. And also further, if possible, I want to be able to take Mom and Dad with me.

So that’s planning for the future in present time and we’ll see how that goes. Since I’ve thrown this out there now, I’m expecting you guys to hold me accountable for what I’m saying but even more so, I’m holding myself accountable. So I will commit to you, on giving you periodic updates of how I’m going to tackle it and plan it, and the steps that I’m going to take to make that happen. Whether or not it does, that’s excellent. You’ll hear more about that. Whether or not it doesn’t, it’s about the process, right? So stay tuned on that. Once I figure out what I want to do with that and some kind of cadence of reporting back to you guys, I’ll definitely let you know.

So this takes us to the end of our episode today. I hope you enjoyed it. It was fun talking about it, actually.  It was especially fun with the sound effects but let me give credit out to Michael Koenig for the 10-second clap, and for the cheer – that’s public domain. But both of these sound bites are available on Soundbible.com. If you have any questions or comments or have any suggestions for future episodes, just drop me a line at my blog SallyintheZen.com. Just click on the contact page and let me know. Maybe I’ll feature that comment on a future episode. Maybe you’ll become a future episode, we’ll see. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for joining me in my pursuits to find Zen moments in everyday living. Talk to you again soon.