Every year I get an annual checkup where I get my blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol readings. Since I’m on the cusp of the big 5-0, I’m more mindful that I’m not as young as I used to be, eating as I pleased and having a digestive system that could process anything like a garbage disposal.
Oh, how I miss those days.
However, one of the greatest lessons learned as I take care of Zen Master and Zen Mum is to take better care of myself. Physically, mentally, emotionally.
Ok, since I’ve laid the framework down, let me get to my story.
The Challenge
For the last three years, my cholesterol has teetered on breaching the overall threshold of Bad Sally, Bad Sally. Well, last year it finally breached — total cholesterol: 269. Anything greater than 200 is ALERT WILL ROBINSON – GO SEE DOCTOR FOR MEDS.
I walked out of there determined. So determined that I made a promise to myself then and there that I was going to beat this bitch on my own. I’d give myself one full year of healthier eating to lower that number on my own. And if I can’t do it, then I’ll admit defeat and go to the doctor to get medicine.
The Oatmeal Plan
I changed my coffee creamer from half/half to a combo of half/half and low fat milk. Switched butter to Smart Balance butter. Drank more water. Started eating oatmeal and flax seed for breakfast during weekdays. For the weekend, I gave myself a break but ate moderately so as not to blow all my efforts from the weekdays. It would be utterly self defeating to kill it over the weekend. And my self control can only handle so much oatmeal.
Considering the fact that I. HATE. OATMEAL.
Hate it with every fiber of my being. YUCK. YUCK. YUCK.
So.
The Steely Determination of Oatmeal
With each full bowl of steel cut oatmeal and heaping tablespoons of ground flax seed mixed with almond milk and mixed berries and/or bananas, I’d be a fucking machine and just eat it.
Shovel each spoonful into my mouth. Gag loudly. Shove more in. Gag more louder. (Because I seriously want to upchuck each and every single time.)
The fruit and the mixed berries made it tolerable…barely.
So my physical was approaching. I’d stepped up my oatmeal/flax seed breakfast for the last four weeks and ate this in the weekends too. So seven days a week for four weeks.
Because I’m. going. to. beat. this. bitch!
Sympathy Pains of Oatmeal
Over that last weekend before my physical, I was sitting at the kitchen table, alternating between mouthfuls of oatmeal, gagging, eating my banana, and drinking my coffee. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.
Zen Mum was in the kitchen with me and she was busy making breakfast for her and Zen Master. Something yummy and more delicious than what I was currently eating but in my mind, I’m a robot. I was focused on eating my bowl and had zero interest in eating anything else.
Remarkable how when you’re focused, nothing fazes you.
In the middle of my gagging, Zen Mum turned to me with a chagrin.
“Every time you gag, you’re making me gag.”
I looked at her as I just swallowed another spoonful, as I was in the process of gagging.
“You’re making me gag every time I hear you gag!” she repeated, louder this time.
If this isn’t sympathy pains, I don’t know what is.
The Verdict
Then the day of the physical finally arrived.
And … and … and …
TOTAL CHOLESTEROL: 156 (Standard <200)
OVERALL TC/HDL-C RATIO: 2.9 (Standard <3.5)
Zen Master reminded me that it was a healthy lifestyle that I should be after, not just scoring good numbers. “A turtle is just as fast as the rabbit.” He says to me, sharing his fortune cookie wisdom.
Yeah, yeah, Life’s a marathon, not a sprint. Yeah, I got it.
But I’m so celebrating this victory with homemade fat filled dumplings and fried oysters! (SO NOT JOKING).
On to the next!
Sally in the Zen
