Random acts of kindness used to just be a thing that I’d do whenever I was quite present in the moment, and quite self aware. Sometimes when I’m too in my head, and busy going about my business, these things’d take a bad burner.
Damn, if it isn’t true, that hindsight is 20/20. Because when I look back on how I used to be, prior to being a caregiver, I definitely could’ve done better.
I became more consciously aware of my actions, when I started to take care of Zen Master after his stroke in 2016. After witnessing lots of heart and compassion while we were in the hospital, I came away changed. I’ll always be in debt to those nurses and doctors who took such good care of us, of Pop, in our dire hours.
I took away so many life changing lessons from his stroke.
The Little Things
Random acts of kindness, especially to our elder folks, can be quite powerful. Because it simply doesn’t take much to bring joy to someone. I googled and came across this post from Wonder Mom Wannabe and it just resonated with me.
I see the truth of it with Zen Master and Zen Mum. When I call to check up on them, which happens daily. When they surprise me with Indian food for dinner, which I love. (They’d get take-out from this one Indian place that I adore.) Or when there’s food hanging stubbornly on a corner of Zen Master’s mouth, and I’d wipe it away with a napkin. Or when I’d hold their hand when we go out shopping or just for a walk.
And what makes them happy usually makes me happy too.
This isn’t to say that I don’t lose my patience with them (I occasionally do) but it’s like second nature to me now, doing these things. Don’t really think about them anymore, really. I just do it.
And I’ve found that I’d do that with people outside my family.
Hmm Moments
We were recently eating lunch with family friends, a really nice elderly couple also in their high 70s. Friends of my parents are also my friends. And after we finished, as we were saying our good-byes, the nice little lady (and I mean she was quite petite, and just a touch frail), was making to step off the sidewalk.
I instinctively offered my hand to her and she took it without hesitation. We held hands while I walked her to her car. Heard afterwards from Zen Master that she absolutely adored me and wanted to get together for more lunches with us.
Truth Behind the Acts of Kindness
I think the reason that it’s gotten easier with these little acts of kindness is the fact that I see reflections of myself in my parents. That one day I’ll be in their shoes, needing a little help and a little companionship. Needing a little laughter and light every day with my family.
I’m truly blessed that they’re still here with me, enough to bring me to tears sometimes. Yes, a little TMI (too much information). But every time I hear stories of loss of a parent, it punches me in the heart. And each punch makes me more appreciative with what I have in my life.
Yeah, it’s the little things that matter to me. And I can’t help but want to pass that forward as well.
