Brace yourselves, folks. Today’s story is about Cologuard and Mom.
So in between the running around between various follow up doctor appointments, dental appointments, lab work, blood work and ordering and managing their myriad of prescriptions, my days are pretty much on the constant go.
I thank my lucky stars every day that I don’t have a family of my own. I can’t even imagine having to juggle a husband and kids and the elderly folks at the same time. For those who have to, I totally feel for you all.
Being their daughter and caregiver, I get the privilege of doing and seeing so many lovely things that I never once considered or thought about.
Like helping Mom with her annual colon cancer screening.
I love my life.
Annual Colon Cancer Screening
According to the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF), it’s recommended for people starting at age 50 to have annual colon cancer screening.
So when Zen Mum’s doctor said it was that time for Mom, it was either going to be in a lab to have a scope up the rear end or a simple screening kit done in the privacy of our own home.
Hm, that’s a toughie. Let’s think about this, shall we?
And that’s how we got introduced to Cologard. (Sadly, this is not a sponsored post with them because if it was, I’d be proud to have home rectal exams as my inaugural sponsored post.)
Alas, it is not to be so.
Anyhoo.
Cologard
So the first home screening kit was pretty simple. I don’t recall the year we first came across it, but it had a container with liquid and a plastic scraper. So just imagine you scraping your own poo, sticking it on the liquid container and sending it off in the mail.
No fuss, no muss … on my part. YAY me!
But the moment Zen Mum yelled Sally, and had me running to her bathroom, I found myself face to face with her fresh poo. Thrusting the scraper into my hand, she said, “I don’t know how to use this. You do it.”
Yeah, these are the perks of being Mom’s caregiver. Forget that. I just got lucky being born their daughter.
So with a grimace, I hurried and scraped and stuck it in the liquid container. The moment I was able to seal and drop it in the mail, I sighed with relief.
Geepers.
The Upgrade
This year, 2019, when it was that time again, the home screening kit was upgraded. It was another container, this time medium size with a lid, that you prop on the toilet and make your deposit directly into it. Once that’s done, you just seal it with the lid and mail it back to the lab via normal postal service.
This one was absolutely easy peasy because even Zen Mum got it right in the first try.
I didn’t have to play with her poo this time! Celebration!
Now that all this is said and done, let me just say EWWWWWW…..EWWWWWWW, gadzooks!!
Shake it off, shake it off.
Well, on to the next.
Sally in the Zen
